we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize