You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
