We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize