I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
