I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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