Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
