I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
