the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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