D3 body, D1 cock
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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