he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
