3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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