you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize