she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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