There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
