I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
