I need help removing her.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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