ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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