is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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