I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
