Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
