oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
