I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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