I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
