so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
