bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
