I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
