You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she pinky promised me she was 18
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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