either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
