names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
