the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
