I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
