Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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