Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
