I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
