I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
