Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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