tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize