hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
