hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
