i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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