I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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