Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize