i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He did a backflip because drugs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
