OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
