If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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