It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
