I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize