did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
