it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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