I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
