I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
