Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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