just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
