My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
