There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
