with your own penis?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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