Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
