he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize