No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
