It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
