The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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