even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
