Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
