he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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