Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
