So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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