i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
