Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
