I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
