Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
