it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In America we eat man semen.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
is that a dick in a sweater?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
