Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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