you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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